03 Nov 28|Champagne Birthday
28 for me is the year of vulnerability and letting go. Letting go of fears, inhibitions, BS excuses and just purely letting go of any and all baggage that is not going to help me in my future. We go through life caring so much about what the next person in aisle five will think, or what our [fake] friends are going to say behind our back to others about our choices and the actions we make, or what our family will think; but, when we sit down and really think about the delays that keep us from seeking and using our voices, it’s all just excuses that are stopping us from reaching our true potential. We walk on eggshells trying to please and appease others, while at the same time doing detrimental harm to ourselves and losing a piece of who we are … and for what?! For the likes? And the people who want to be in our highlight reel? But to what end? Most people disappear or we phase them out of our lives when we realize they are no good for us. I used to crave the likes and the fact that people wanted to be around me, and then it got very tiring and I got very drained. And then things started to shift this year. Going through the motions of life and dealing with heartbreak, insecurities and constantly questioning who I was and why I was on this earth all seemed to shift my thoughts and perspective. We go through life wanting to be liked by others, but do we like ourselves enough at the end of the day?
Coming into this new birth year feels like my homecoming. I feel like I have finally arrived and am in my element with all the necessary tools to take on life. I am prepared for the unknown which is exhilarating because I am more conscious and aware of myself and my journey more so than I have ever been. I am in control in a way that allows me to be me and knowing and feeling this power is a beautiful feeling.
I am a woman.
I am a smart woman.
I am a business woman.
I am a woman with heart.
I am a passionate woman.
I am a phenomenal woman.
I sat down with a close friend recently and we had a tough but honest conversation that unbound me at my core and released so much pent-up emotions. I hadn’t realized I had been holding onto so much that when we started talking, I came undone. Literally. Our conversation made me realize that I had avoided being vulnerable because I didn’t want to be seen as being weak or being that “emotional woman”. But my logic was so wrong, because what I thought of as my weakness was and is my superpower. To be able to feel and give myself that time to understand myself and to be my honest self is my power. And being able to articulate it is paramount. In that moment, being that vulnerable required me to be tough enough to shed my thick skin and just be human. It was freeing.
Growth demands that we take the time to constantly and consistently re-evaluate [ourselves] and once that is done, we do it again. Growth also demands us to be selfish from time to time and the sooner we realize this, the faster we can be our best selves. You are probably thinking “what is this woman smoking?” BUT, in order to be able to give 100% to what you do and be ourselves, we have to save a little bit more of who we are for ourselves. It is a bittersweet decision that we all have to make so that we can love ourselves daily and appreciate those in our lives always. Self-love is a necessity and no one will ever love you as much as you love yourself. Life works in mysterious and weird ways because what you give will never be exactly what you receive. The lesson I learned here is this: understand that you can be giving, but give a little more to yourself than you give to the rest of the world. The world is a forgiving place so people will understand when you can’t give.
I realized that I used to give so much of myself to make other people happy, because by nature I am a giver. I gave and gave and gave, until there was nothing left for me. While giving, I forgot to keep a little pleasure for myself which was a mistake because that resulted in my losing myself. I’ve grown over the past few months because I have truly listened to myself and sought guidance when I didn’t know it all, and have been able to keep a little something for myself and do things that please me. I have considered only myself for a change and it has felt amazing. It has been bittersweet because I have had to let people down. I realized I couldn’t continue being the pleaser I was to the people in my life now because I am not the same person I used to be. I can’t and won’t over-extend myself anymore to make sure everyone is happy, because there is no one doing that for me. And while that’s been a tough pill to swallow, that’s the truth. Now, if you are a single woman or man then this applies to you. But, if you do have a partner and a family of your own to consider – speak to someone else.
As we grow, we need to be tough and shed our thick skin in order to be vulnerable and candidly open with ourselves and accept our faults so that we can learn from them. We must constantly feel to be able to move on and be better people. We have to seek being uncomfortable to be able to take the leaps we need to grow. And as we become naked in our truths, we become powerful beyond measure.
I celebrated 28 on September 28. My champagne year has been nothing short of amazing and it’s with an unguarded heart and a fearless spirit that I live my naked truth.
Photography by Get The Shot Studios.
Make-up by Alias.Makeup.... N. xo