Excuses are the bane of progress. And I get away with them when I am completely exhausted, at which point laziness takes over. In my previous post – Body.com, I talked about my struggles of being the chubby kid from birth and well into my early twenties. Being chubby was something I dealt with because I was just that girl who couldn’t get rid of the weight; until I got a gym membership. With it, I also got myself a personal trainer who helped me work to achieve my health goals and what I wanted for myself. I changed things then; but slowly and unfortunately, I have crept back into that state of “letting myself go”.
*SIDE NOTE: while personal trainers might seem like a money waster, investing in someone who knows what they are doing and who professionally works to get people to reach their health goals is a good way to start on the healthy lifestyle path.*I currently weigh 142LBS and I got there by myself. It’s not the end of the world [bad], but I know I am not at my best. I can definitely account for the delicious food and crazy calories I have ingested over this last little period. My weakness? Anyone who knows me knows that I love food and I don’t hold myself back. Why? Because in the back of my mind, I tell myself “I am going to the gym tomorrow”, of which it sometimes is true, but in the last few weeks, it has definitely not been the case.Why? Because when tomorrow does come, something “important” creeps up that just has to be dealt with at that precise moment that I am meant to be at the gym. Right?! My workout time becomes an afterthought as the hours pass by, and before I know it … it’s 10PM and time for bed. Life right?! This year, I participated in the merriment that is the Vancouver Sun Run (again) – a 10KM race through the streets of some of Vancouver’s beautiful neighbourhoods. Had I been training like I should have been, I think I would have been fine; but, after a three-week stint of working remotely, there was excuse after excuse as to why I couldn’t run and before I could say much else, it was race day. Faced with the challenge of finishing the race, my goal of running and completing it under an hour dwindled after the 5KM mark which I hit at the 30-minute mark. In my head, I was standing tall and giving myself a pat on the back, but my body was beginning to cry. My legs – especially my right hip – agony. If only l could vent and lament some more about that pain without derailing from the intent of this piece … c’est la vie! Anyway, as I had already passed the 5KM, there was no turning back. I mean, for what?! Facing the hip issue, and of course, my legs starting to feel like lead, I struggled along – walking half; running half. Finishing was the goal, and I’d be damned if I let my hip stop me!
*DISCLAIMER: For anyone who is a runner, you know there is a difference between running outside and running on a treadmill. Huge difference!*
Not to say that I ran this race without some training, but the lead-up weeks to the race I fell short of being disciplined to my training. All by myself. I didn’t hold myself accountable and that was the biggest mistake I could have made and as a result, it hindered me. I didn’t put myself in a position to accomplish my goal of finishing the race within my desired time frame of under an hour. My focus towards my training had subconsciously wavered as the weeks went on. Yes, it sucks, but what’s done is done [can’t change the past] because with my focus re-aligned, I am starting from what seems to be a fresh start, to get to where I want to be.When it comes to health and fitness, being able to juggle what life throws at me, while also making sure to not skip that one hour a day of crucial exercise where my adrenaline spikes like crazy, is important. Accountability. For me, it is important that I mentally and physically make the time, and since I didn’t do it heading into race day, everything I had been working towards in the beginning slipped away. I set a goal but, I let myself down. Human nature.
After race day my body was a bag of mixed aches and pains. It felt like I had been hit by a tonne of bricks … and then some. If someone had given me a warning of just how much pain I would be in, I would probably have sat this race out. Walking … sitting … laughing or any sudden movements sent me into body aches and spasms. Damn fitness goals! Damn the beginning of fitness in general! It’s crazy but the pain heightened the experience for me. While I may not have been able to finish the race within my goal time, being able to finish it still felt pretty damn good! The pain was worth it!
What this race taught me was that goals are set and if something derails you off your path (including yourself), one has to adjust and stay on the re-routed course. For me, I may not have finished the race in my preferred time, but I didn’t give up and that was the main thing for me. Hip and all, I made sure to cross that finish line. Being healthy and staying fit is hard, but if the discipline is there, the rewards are so worth it!! Breaking the cycle and being better is a great motivator to continue on a healthy path.
My struggles leading up to race day and those on the day were my own, and I take responsibility for them. I stopped making excuses as I realized that I could have trained harder as I ran (hand on hip) towards the finish line. But despite that being the case, I am working on my struggles and holding myself accountable, more so now than ever. Holding oneself accountable to see the goal through to its fruition is the focus; therefore, once you start there is no looking back.... N. xo