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Personally, I always feel better after going to the gym; and when I am in  the rhythm, I never think twice about how my day will end because a workout is in store for me. But, this time around was a little tricky because after a long hiatus and a great comeback when the new year started, I didn’t think I would fall off the wagon … let alone, have sickness kick me off my game as much as it did. I speak for everyone when I say that, “being sick sucks ass so much,” because you are limited to what you can put the body through because the body is already in a weak state. I thought I was careful but even then, it only took a wrong touch and I was knocked out. It took me about three (3) weeks to get back to my normal state of health, and as much as I was dreading it as I walked into the gym and swiped my card that first Monday back, it felt good as I left. That feeling of adrenaline and endorphins pumping through my body gave me such a high that I didn’t feel the aches until much later. The slow burn. The sweet sensation of what I was accomplishing; a healthy me. #WorkingWhatMyMommaGaveMe

I was a chubby kid growing up, and all the way through high-school and university. Dubbed as “Miss Cheeks” by friends, I knew that my glorious cheeks would always be a staple. After realizing that, it was then about figuring out how to make my round face work in my favour. So, after graduating from university and moving back home, I got a gym membership (thanks Steve Nash!), a personal trainer and I took part in as many classes as I could in order to stay active outside of my training sessions. Outside of the gym, my eating habits changed quite dramatically because it was out with the bad, and in with the good and pricey goods. Oooooooooohhhh! *sigh* organic foods! My diet changed, and while it was hard and there’d be days where I would fall off the wagon, I would get right back on it, and push myself even harder. With an initial weigh-in when I started with my personal trainer of just over 150lbs, it was up to me to reach my goal. So, while I would have loved to sleep-in on a Saturday morning after a full week of 1-hour workouts, I would be up at the gym for my 8:30am gym class every week. It was life-changing. Months into my new lifestyle, I started to notice changes that made me do a double-take in the mirror. My clothes didn’t fit quite like they used to, my body was changing and damn did I feel great! Mentally, emotionally and physically I was happy. In my mind I had a goal of what I wanted my body to look like and it felt great to have so much control over it after years of feeling defeated. I had my “Fitness-Inspiration-Board” going on and fabulous ladies like Ciara or Angela Simmons would give me body envy while also giving me that motivation to keep going. I can’t even hate on them. They put in the work and the results are AMAZING!! #FitnessGoals

So with the goal in mind of what I wanted to look like, I whipped my buns into shape. Of course, after some time in the gym and eating well, I finally hit my goal weight of 130lbs and I looked and felt great. It was a bit scary to get there because I never thought I could, but I did and it was worth it. My hard work had paid off and I loved myself more for it. It was also around the time I had finished competing in Faces West, so my body was just still in that physical state of small yet mighty. But my ideal body was still a work in progress.  I wanted to be strong, sexy and importantly … healthy. 

I had never been in a bikini before, so while I had bought one and had waited for the day to come where I could finally don it, that day never really materialized after the purchase … until last August, during our family vacation for my brother’s wedding.  I wasn’t ready (mentally) but I bust out the bikini for the first time anyway. Eeeeeeek!! After decades of being the fat chubby kid, which I am not ashamed of because I was that girl, and in a way, I still am, I broke free off all the negative talk that had compounded over the years and that had stopped me from just accepting what was and is. I had always felt like The Ugly Duckling of the family but after taking the reigns and just owning all of me and importantly, working on what I wanted to see, I felt amazing. BA-BAM!!!

I love food and I am known to have a healthy appetite in general so with that in mind, being able to eat while working on my body, was and is a constant battle that I enjoy being a part of. I love the balancing act and despite how some might say that they “can’t” do both … I call BS! It’s about finding that balance and working within those limits. 

With all the constant talk of body image nowadays, everyone has an opinion. But I find that to be truly happy, one has to own their sexy and be happy with themselves. In my mind, it comes down to two simple things:

1. If you aren’t happy with yourself, you are the only one with the power to change and be who you want to be.
2. Define your own sexy. Don’t fixate on society’s hype over the “most sexy body”. DO YOU BOO!!!